CCC 27-1_LR

PASS IT ON

Slowing down helps me gain more stability and insight into what is happening around me, even in the midst of it all.

a with people. In some of the craziest, busiest times—like when He was confronted by a local leader whose daugh ter was dying while surrounded by a pressing crowd—Je sus was not overwhelmed by it all. He even noticed that slight tug from a hemorrhaging woman as He headed off to deal with a massive crisis (Mark 5:25-34). Although the life around Jesus was not slowing down, in the midst of it all, He reflected something that author Anne Morrow Lindbergh suggests in her book, Gift from the Sea: The Answer to the Conflicts in Our Lives , that we all strive to attain: “… to be the still axis within the revolving wheel of relationships, obligations, and activities.” 2 Think about that word picture for a moment… to be the “still axis.” As Ken Gire says in his excellent book, Windows of the Soul: Experiencing God in New Ways , “Today has its own whirl of responsibilities, and if we get caught up in the spin, the windows of the soul will blur by us.” 3 We have all been there or are there today—doing life on the very outside edge of the wheel… caught up in the whirl of responsibilities and experiencing the blur of balancing everything in our lives. However, picture that same bicycle wheel; only now are you moving from the external blur to that inner state of calm, moving closer to the axis of the hub. Life certainly looks different there! It is a place that allows us to see things around us in a very different way. Slowing down helps me gain more stability and insight into what is happening around me, even in the midst of it all. I am learning to incorporate the following three components to move to the wheel’s center. First, what many pro athletes do, and I am trying more often, is to “picture” what is about to happen . If you watched any of the recent Olympics in Paris, particularly the gymnasts just before they performed, you often saw many of them with their eyes closed and their heads slightly moving. They were mentally rehearsing, review ing in their mind’s eyes what was about to happen in real life. I am now purposely trying to take a few moments to transition from the chaos of whatever was happening be fore a session starts—to take a moment to get a picture in my mind of being in the room with my clients. I close my eyes, take a few deep breaths, pray, and try to picture the people (or person) I am about to meet with, not choreo graphing an entire session before it has even happened. Many pro athletes benefit from “muscle memory” by implementing repetition. So much of the unexpected and unplanned will happen in counseling; however, I am discovering how much it helps to slow down and get a picture of my clients and me together in that room before I enter. As counselors, we talk so much today about help ing those we counsel get “attuned” to each other. A good

place to start is in our hearts and minds before a session begins—to move toward the center of the hub. Second, I sit forward in my chair—just a bit so it is unnoticeable to my clients. Although this might seem insignificant, it is surprising what a slight lean toward them can do. It alerts my body that I am moving forward and focuses my attention more on what is going on in the room. I can better see or hear the “little things” that can be so important. Finally, I have begun praying during the session to help me slow down and see what I might be missing. In short, I want to try to understand, see, hear, and sense the “need behind the deed” that is going on. To explain that, think about the last time you were at Walmart late at night, and there was a crying kid with a worn-out mother. Instead of thinking, “Shouldn’t that kid be in bed,” try to slow down and look deeper. “Lord, there is a need behind that deed that I am not seeing. Maybe she just got off from work and had to bring her child to get food for the next day.” You are not trying to explain things away but understand them more clearly. Just like Jesus asked the disciples, “Who touched me?” on His way to see Jairus’ terribly sick daughter, asking the Lord for help to see through that “Window of the Soul” Ken Gire so powerful ly writes about allows us to see past the frame to what is closer to the heart of what is going on. I guess slowing down is not so bad after all. Lord, may you move all of us further away from the edge of the wheel and closer to that place of rest and stability—where we can see more of You and recognize how we can better help people. ;

John Trent, Ph.D., is the President of StrongFamilies.com and the co-author, with his daughter, Kari Trent Stageberg, of the new Focus on the Family book, Where Do I Go From Here? Join them as a LifeMapping® Coach to help people capture the pictures of their life story and start moving toward God’s best at www.StrongFamilies.com.

Endnotes 1 Athletes are right: The game really does slow down for them. (16 May, 2018). Global Sports Magazine , Arizona State University Global Sports Institute. 2 Lindbergh, A.M. (1955). G ift from the sea: The answer to the conflicts in our lives. Pantheon Books, Inc., New York, NY. 3 Gire, K. (2016). Windows of the soul: Hearing God in the everyday mo ments of your life . Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, p. 33.

Christian Counseling Connection 39