CCC 27-2_LR

INNOVATIVE THOUGHT & PRACTICE

Many sessions with families are like the “fog of war”—chaotic and explo sive. Emotions can be hot. Harsh words declared. People can leave angry! There is good reason to withdraw from the battlefield and focus on sermon preparation or next year’s budget. No one screams. No one slams doors. Their crisis creates a caregiver crisis. However, caregivers faithfully, even eagerly, follow where they are called. And that calling frequently carries them into very difficult places beyond seminary preparation and job description. So, when a mom or dad makes the call, you answer. The call may sound something like, “You don’t know me… I’ve never been to your church before, but I drive by it every day on my way to work. Taylor and Ramon, who attend your church, live across the street. They gave me your name and said you could help. My family is in a crisis. Will you see us?” The answer is going to be “yes.” Oh, you will ask some questions regarding details, such as who is involved and a brief history. You need to ensure this is not an imminent threat to health and safety. And then you say, “Let’s meet and talk….” Once a caregiver says yes to caring, yes to receiving, yes to lis tening, another question must be answered, and often with a slight degree of anxiety—even panic. “What do I do next?” We have gathered the accumulated wisdom of some of the best mental health and pastoral experts to answer this question. To 18 Christian author ities, we gave the question: “What would you say to a caregiver if you were to be asked, “A family who is addressing __________ will be in my office in one hour. What do I do?” We invited these authors to write a response to what every caregiver needs to know and do when faced with a family care crisis. Their responses are compiled in our book, Ministering to Families in Crisis: The Essential Guide for Nurturing Mental and Emotional Health (IVP, 2024). A few of the crises addressed in the book include an LBGTQ+ identity in a child or spouse, severe mental illness, challenges from blended families, violence and abuse, addiction, financial crisis, attending to the elderly, and racial trauma. Each chapter presents challenges that the caregiver must navigate. The goal of assisting families in crisis is to develop a biblically supported approach. Those ministering in crisis situations are to offer hope, courage, and safety, conveying that family members are not alone. Following, we pro vide short explanations and invite you to explore the details of the accumu lated wisdom of these expert book chapter authors. Hope. First Thessalonians 4:13 (NIV) declares, “… so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” Family members are often pulled into the cauldron of crisis. They desire to relieve, solve, and heal right now. Their need for grief relief is immediate. Paul’s words suggest the situations we find ourselves in often result in grief. Disillusioning grief. Yet, hope abides where we are to fix our gaze. Hope must be placed so close that everything seen must be seen through it. Caregivers can help families declare, “I can’t yet see how this will work out, what our outcomes will be, or where we are going, but I will trust God and have confidence in that outcome.” Courage. Vincent van Gogh is credited with saying, “The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.” 1 Courageous caregiv ers meet with family members who face complicated and vital dilemmas. And don’t blink. Your courage creates courage. It declares you are not afraid of “it”—that issue or concern which might be too painful for thought or dis cussion. Caregivers are the primary “first stop” for most as they experience pain. Caregivers can help families with all of the “next step” decisions. Act as Jesus, who said, “… permit the little children… to come to Me…” (Matthew 19:14, BLB) even if you are not a child expert!

Those ministering in crisis situations are to offer hope, courage, and safety, conveying that family members are not alone.

Christian Counseling Connection 19