CCC 27-3

Ministering to Trauma Survivors in the Church Page 26

Closed Doors and the Will of God Page 34

The Rise of AI in Mental Healthcare and the Road Forward Page 8

A Publication of the American Association of Christian Counselors IN THIS ISSUE

Volume 27 | Issue 3

Lead Articles From the President Clinical Practice Innovative Thought & Practice Trending Now Healthy Relationships

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Pastoral Care News & Notes Pass It On

THE WORLD’S PREMIER CHRISTIAN COUNSELING EVENT

f For years, the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) had the vision to equip churches with a practical training program for what many had long called lay counselors or peer counselors, everyday people with a heart to help others through mental and spiritual struggles. As plans came together to launch the Mental Health Coach (MHC) program in May 2020, no one could have predicted the global pandemic that amplified the already rising mental health concerns. Five years later, the need has only grown… and so has the impact. Mental Health Coach Program Celebrates Five Years of Service and Introduces Two New Courses

“May they all be one, as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You. May they also be one in Us, so the world may believe You sent Me.” — John 17:21, HCSB September 23-27, 2025 Opryland Hotel Nashville, TN

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When coaches can competently recognize when someone is hurting, listen with empathy, and gently point them toward the help they need, they are helping the Church become a more caring and responsive place

for emotional and spiritual support.

This program is designed to equip everyday individ uals with the skills and tools needed to support those struggling with mental and spiritual health challenges. It has become a transformative force in churches and com munities around the world. Since the program began, more than 30,000 churches have participated, and over 65,000 people have completed the training. The strong response shows just how much people are looking for practical, biblically grounded ways to care for others in their churches and communities. A Movement Toward Compassionate Care The Mental Health Coach program was created in response to a reality many pastors and church leaders were already confronting. People often turn to their churches for help during personal crises, yet most congre gations have not historically had the training or resources to respond effectively to mental health issues. The MHC program addresses this need by offering a structured, comprehensive, faith-centered approach to mental health support that non-professionals can implement. This training has helped churches become more compassionate and better equipped to walk with people through issues like trauma, grief, depression, anxiety, and emotional pain. Mental Health Coaches are showing up in their congregations and neighborhoods, serving as a link between spiritual care and professional mental health support. When coaches can competently recognize when someone is hurting, listen with empathy, and gently point them toward the help they need, they are helping the Church become a more caring and responsive place for emotional and spiritual support. The goal of this pro gram has never been to replace licensed counselors or

train non-professionals to diagnose or provide treatment but instead to offer meaningful support early on, often when someone needs it most. Building on a Strong Foundation In celebration of this milestone anniversary, AACC is pleased to announce two new certification programs that will be released in May to expand the reach and depth of the Mental Health Coach initiative through training. These courses are designed to meet the increas ing demand for practical and professional mental health training grounded in Christian principles. Spiritual and Mental Health First Aid (SMHFA) We are excited to announce the new Spiritual and Mental Health First Aid (SMHFA) training to help more people become better mental health friendly and aware. This free, nine-module certification is a peer-to-peer training pro gram designed to prepare anyone, regardless of their level of training, to effectively recognize, relate, respond, and refer to mental, emotional, and spiritual health challenges. Created by AACC, SMHFA combines biblical truth with proven mental health strategies. Through the course, participants will learn how to: • Identify the common signs and symptoms of mental, behavioral, and spiritual distress • Respond with empathy and practical support • Apply trauma-informed care principles • Use de-escalation techniques appropriately • Refer individuals to professional care when nec essary • Offer hope-focused interventions in situations involving suicidal ideation or acute emotional distress

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This new certification helps people become trusted first responders in moments of crisis—whether in church, school, or everyday situations. It is an excellent fit for pastors, lay leaders, teachers, parents, and anyone who feels called to support others through life’s challenges. By increasing awareness, building confidence, and teaching essential response techniques, SMHFA is designed to help individuals provide time ly, compassionate care and reduce the stigma often associated with mental health issues. Professional Mental Health Coaching (PMHC) The second new certification program is the Professional Mental Health Coaching (PMHC) course, a 24-hour certification designed for those who wish to serve as a mental health coach in more formal or structured environ ments. This course builds on the foundational Mental Health Coach training and prepares individuals to operate within a professional or semi-profession al context. The PMHC program dives into elevated practical topics like: • How to start and grow a mental health coaching practice • How to navigate ethical and legal boundaries in this work • How to collaborate with licensed mental health professionals • Ways to navigate the mental healthcare system • The vital role peer support plays in the recovery process As mental healthcare continues to evolve, mental health professionals are beginning to see the value of trained peer support. While these individuals are not licensed therapists, they offer something many people seek—some one who listens, encourages, and walks with them through difficult seasons. They help fill a gap in care that traditional services sometimes miss. AACC’s Professional Mental Health Coaching course is designed to meet this growing demand. It acknowledges the lived experiences and spiritu al maturity many laypeople bring to the table and provides them with the structure and training needed to serve others with excellence and integrity. This course reflects AACC’s ongoing commitment to supporting the local Church, especially pastors and leaders who are often the first people others turn to in a crisis. It also creates new opportunities for trained individuals to serve in places like community organizations, counseling offices, schools, and even businesses—anywhere mental health support is becoming more critical. Looking Forward As the Mental Health Coach program enters its sixth year, we pray that God’s hand continues to guide its direction and impact. What began as a response to a pressing need has become a global network of trained, compassionate individuals helping shape a more caring and responsive church. These coaches are making an impact and a difference in the lives of individuals in their churches and communities. They are transforming the way churches and communities think about mental health. With their help, we are dismantling stigmas, building healthier communities, and creating an environment where people feel seen, supported, and valued. By adding the Spiritual and Mental Health First Aid and Professional Mental Health Coaching courses, AACC is expanding its vision to ensure more people have access to quality, Christ-centered mental health education and support. While the mental health crisis shows no signs of slowing down and men tal health challenges continue to affect individuals and families, churches and communities must be equipped to respond. These two new courses aim to meet that need with practical training, compassionate care, and a strong foundation in the truth of the Gospel. ;

A PUBLICATION OF THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN COUNSELORS

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Published quarterly by American Association of Christian Counselors, Inc., P.O. Box 739, Forest, VA 24551. AACC is an organization of evangelical pro fessional, lay, and pastoral counselors dedicated to promoting excellence and unity in Christian counseling. To ensure the confidentiality of all individuals men tioned in case material, names and identifying informa tion have been changed. Unsolicited manuscripts and poetry are not accepted. A query letter must be sent first, describing a proposed manuscript. Unfortunately, any unsolicited manuscripts will not be returned. CHRISTIAN COUNSELING CONNECTION grants permission for any original article (not a reprint) to be photocopied for use in a local church or classroom, provided no more than 250 copies are made, are dis tributed free, and indicate CHRISTIAN COUNSELING CONNECTION as the source. Advertising deadline for display advertising is approx imately six weeks before the month of publication. Please call for exact deadline dates. All advertising must be prepaid. If you have comments or questions about the content of CCC, please direct them to the Senior Editor. The views expressed by the reviewers, authors, or advertisers do not necessarily reflect those of the American Association of Christian Counselors, and a review in this publication does not imply an endorse ment. AACC and this publication do not assume responsibility in any way for members’ or readers’ efforts to apply or utilize information, suggestions, or recommendations made by the organization, its members, publications, or other resources. All rights reserved. Copyright 2019.

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Christian Counseling Connection 3

SEEING GOD’S PEOPLE BEYOND OUR COGNITIVE BIAS

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i “UNITED” WORLD CONFERENCE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER! Imagine walking into a room filled with thousands of people who care about the same things you do: faith, mental health, hope, and healing. Some are counselors, others are pastors or teachers, and many simply have a heart to help. Now imagine what it feels like to worship, learn, laugh, and walk away refreshed, encouraged, and equipped for what’s next. That is what the 2025 AACC “UNITED” World Conference is all about, and it is right around the corner! On September 23-27, more than 7,000 attendees will gather in Nashville at the magnificent Gaylord Opryland Hotel for the largest event in Christian counseling worldwide. With nearly 6,000 already registered, it is evident that people are hungry for connection, clarity, and encouragement, and this conference will deliver all three. A Place to Reset and Refocus Let’s be honest… ministry, counseling, and caregiving can be isolating. You pour into oth ers all day long, and it is easy to run dry. The “UNITED” World Conference is designed to be a time of renewal. It is a space to step away from the daily demands and surround yourself with people who understand the weight you carry. Whether you are a licensed counselor, pastor, coach, student, or someone who is just trying to do well for the people in your life, this event will remind you why you said yes in the first place and equip you to keep saying yes with more strength, wisdom, and support.

6 Christian Counseling Connection

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World-class Learning Opportunities This year’s event features 18 plenary speakers, seven mental health learning intensives, 50 pre-conference workshops, and 175 profes sional breakout sessions. Packed with opportunities for personal and professional development, attendees will hear from some of the most respected voices in the field, including: • Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages • Dr. Daniel Amen, renowned psychiatrist and brain health expert • Lysa TerKeurst, best-selling author and speaker • Dr. Curt Thompson, psychiatrist and author of The Soul of Shame • Dr. Henry Cloud, co-author of Boundaries • and many more, including Bob Goff, Jennie Allen, and Dr. John Townsend The conference also features leading experts on mental health and research with in-depth symposiums on timely topics such as religious liberty, human flourishing, trauma-informed care, and spiritual forma tion, led by Harvard scholar, Dr. Tyler VanderWeele, Duke University Medical Center’s Dr. Harold Koenig, Baylor University’s distinguished professor, Dr. Byron Johnson, and more to be announced. More Than a Conference… a Full Experience! One of past attendees’ favorite parts of the AACC World Conference is the unforgettable performances/special events from top Christian art ists. This year’s lineup includes: • Chris Tomlin in concert on Wednesday, September 24th • Micah Tyler headlining Rock the Block on Thursday, September 25th* • Katy Nichole and Dennis Swanberg at the Night of Joy Dinner Theater on Friday, September 26th* (*Tickets must be purchased separately) It is the kind of mix that reminds you that joy and rest matter, too. Everything that the gorgeous Gaylord Opryland Hotel has to offer— indoor gardens, waterfalls, specialty shops, restaurants, and all-in-one convenience—feels like a retreat. Why Attend the 2025 AACC “UNITED” World Conference We know you have a full schedule and plenty of demands on your time. However, the AACC “UNITED” World Conference is not just another event to squeeze in; it is a meaningful opportunity to step away from the daily pressures and focus on what matters most—your growth, calling, and the people you serve every day. With each conference, attendees share how much they value the chance to gain new insights, pick up faith-based tools, and connect with others who truly understand the ups and downs of their work. The event is designed to strengthen your skills, provide continuing educa tion credits, and spark conversations that matter. Just as important, it serves as a reminder that you are not in this alone. You will leave feeling encouraged and with a clearer sense of direction for the season ahead. With registration already 85% full and hotel rooms booking quickly, this is the time to mark your calendar and secure your spot. Discounted rates for AACC members are still available, but only for a short while… so if you plan to join, do not wait to sign up. To learn more, visit www.worldconference.net for information on register ing, viewing pricing, and reserving your spot at the Gaylord Opryland today. ;

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Christian Counseling Connection 7

FROM THE PRESIDENT

THE RISE OF AI in Mental Healthcare and the Road Forward Tim Clinton, Ed.D., LPC, LMFT, BCPCC t The rise of Artificial Intelligence (AI) is no longer on the horizon... it is here and coming at us fast. Over the last few years, with the popularity of generative AI tools like ChatGPT, AI has found its way into how we think about care, build connections, and support those struggling, especially in the world of mental health. As Christian counselors, coaches, and related minis try leaders, we cannot afford to gloss over this topic. We cannot look the other way or hope it just passes us by. AI is advancing fast, and it is not going away. If we step back and stay silent, we leave the shaping of research, counseling practice, and, most importantly, the care of the people God has called us to serve in the hands of others. That is not an option for us. We must be prepared, anchored in truth, and ready to step boldly into this moment with wisdom, courage, and discernment.

8 Christian Counseling Connection

FROM THE PRESIDENT

Recently, a colleague sent me a new study from The New England Journal of Medicine titled, “Randomized Trial of a Generative AI Chatbot for Mental Health Treatment,” which really made me stop and think. It was about a study on the first clinical trial of a therapy chatbot called “Therabot,” created by researchers at Dartmouth. The findings were indeed something to consid er. People struggling with depression saw their symptoms ease by more than half. Those living with anxiety experienced about a third less distress. And even folks dealing with body image and eating concerns showed noticeable improvements. However, what hit me the most was that many participants said they felt like they were speaking with a trusted counselor when they used Therabot. 1 Two factors from the study continue to stand out to me. First is how peo ple interacted with Therabot. Participants did not just follow the prompts provided but took the first step in starting the conversation. And not just during the day… many participants engaged in the middle of the night when thoughts often ruminate, and they cannot sleep. Second, participants reported that they could trust and communicate with the system as they would with a mental health professional. That picture has stayed with me. Participants turned to this tool for trust, comfort, and connection. One of the researchers even admitted, “We did not expect that people would almost treat the software like a friend. It says to me that they were actually forming relationships with Therabot.” 2 That says a great deal about the human heart. It shows how deeply we all long to be heard and known and not feel so alone. It also speaks volumes about the opportunity and our weighty responsibility as counselors, coaches, and leaders. We know the mental health crisis has shown no signs of slowing down. Demand continues to skyrocket, and far too many people are struggling in silence, unable to access the help they desperately need. Does AI offer some real hope here? Tools like Therabot are not about replacing human counselors but equipping us to serve better. Generative AI has been around for years and has the capability to help with routine tasks and scheduling, and now even in practice management, like assisting in assessments and personalizing care plans. That means we get to spend more time doing what matters most and focusing on the work of building genuine, healing rela tionships. But let’s be honest. With all this opportunity comes serious responsibili ty. As Christian counselors, we have to ask and answer the tough questions. How do we ensure AI serves people with compassion and respect? How do we safeguard the deeply human and spiritual part of counseling? We believe every person is created in the image of God, with infinite worth. No algo rithm can replace that truth. No chatbot can offer the kind of heart-level con nection and prayerful guidance that a trusted counselor can provide. Despite all the technological advances, we remain confident that true transformation does not come from machine learning and artificial intelli gence but from God Himself, working through His people—connection mat ters. Don’t miss this. God has no greater plan than to use people like you and me as conduits to channel His message of hope and grace. The power of the Holy Spirit, through us, brings lasting healing, and it is through the hands, hearts, and voices of God’s servants that hope is delivered. AI may be a tool, but it is never the source of life-changing power. That belongs to God alone. The Dartmouth researchers were clear—while AI like Therabot shows promise, it still needs human oversight. No matter how well it is pro grammed, there is always a risk when you hand complex human emotions to a machine. That is why we need to stay at the forefront of this conversation. We cannot sit on the sidelines and hope it all works out. AI is not going any where, so we must be informed, engaged, and proactive.

Despite all the technological advances, we remain confident that true transformation does not come from machine learning and artificial intelligence but from God Himself, working through His people—connection matters.

Christian Counseling Connection 9

FROM THE PRESIDENT

y This is the time we need to press into this work. It is time to dig deep, to understand what these technologies can and cannot do, and to use them with great care. We must show up in every conversation about AI with the heart of Christ and the wisdom of His Word. We must never let innovation outrun our convictions or leave com passion behind. You’re not in Kansas anymore. The future of mental healthcare is no longer on the horizon; it is unfolding right before us. Yes, AI will play a growing role in shaping the future of mental healthcare delivery and access, but let’s never forget what remains at the core of our calling—step ping into broken places, walking with people through their pain, and pointing them to the ultimate source of hope and healing, Jesus Christ. I pray that we realize the opportunity to wisely stew ard the development and deployment of these tools and ensure that, as technology like this becomes more acces sible, the truth and love of Christ anchor the new methods available today. That is our charge and calling in the age of AI. ;

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Tim Clinton, Ed.D., LPC, LMFT, BCP CC, is president of AACC, the world’s largest and most diverse Christian coun seling association. He is also Executive Director of the Global Center for Men tal Health, Addiction, and Recovery and Professor Emeritus at Liberty Universi ty. Dr. Clinton served as co-host of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, heard on more than 1,400 radio outlets daily, and now hosts a weekend television program, The Road Forward, seen on Real Amer ica’s Voice News streaming service and numerous platforms. He and his son, Zach, launched a new daily meditative prayer podcast on pray.com for mental health and relationships. Dr. Clinton has been married for 43 years to his wife, Ju lie, and they have two children and two granddaughters. Endnotes 1 Heinz, M.V., Mackin, D.M., Trudeau, B.M., Bhattacha rya, S., Wang, Y., Banta, H.A., Jewett, A.D., Salzhauer, A.J., Griffin, T.Z., & Jacobson, N.C. (2025). Randomized trial of a generative AI chatbot for mental health treat ment. NEJM AI, 2 (4). https://doi.org/10.1056/ Aloa2400802. 2 Kelly, M. (2025, March 27). First therapy chatbot tri al yields mental health benefits. Dartmouth. https:// home.dartmouth.edu/news/2025/03/first-therapy- chatbot-trial-yields-mental-health-benefits.

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CLINICAL PRACTICE

Impasse and Interpretation in Christian Counseling from the Society for Christian Psychology CHRISTIAN PSYCH NOTES Nicolene L. Joubert, Ph.D.

a Introduction An impasse in counseling is the moment a client and counselor experience a stalemate or deadlock in the process. Interpersonal communication breaks down, and the working alliance between counselor and client weakens. According to Werbart et al. (2022), a weakened alliance is one of the main reasons clients drop out of therapy or counseling. Progress is halted, and both par ties feel stuck. Characteristics and Causes of Impasse Ruptures in the therapeutic relationship lead to an impasse or deadlock. Clients generally feel disconnect ed from the therapeutic process and struggle to make progress. Some causes of an impasse include unre sponsiveness and emotional distance in the counseling relationship. It could originate from counselor bias and insensitivity to the client or from a lack of rapport be tween counselor and client. Thus, clients feel unsafe and

limited in what they can reveal (Werbart et al., 2022). Clients who feel they are not making progress despite many counseling sessions might become distant and unresponsive. They may experience the counselor as too distant or passive (Werbart et al., 2022). It consequent ly leads to a deadlock or stalemate in the counseling process. On the other hand, counselors or therapists may experience clients as resistant to change or aversive against closeness. When an impasse goes unnoticed by the counselor, it can lead to a negative counseling experience. Sessions may become emotionally tense, and both parties may experience frustration. This could lead to emotional exhaustion because an intense cognitive and emotion al effort is required to engage with each other to work toward counseling goals. Symptoms of impasse include emotional withdrawal, intellectualization, periods of meaningless silence, or overemphasis on non-psycholog ical problems (Werbart et al., 2022).

Christian Counseling Connection 13

CLINICAL PRACTICE

including the relationship between counselor and client and the Triune God. Factors related to the client’s God image should be identified and ex plicated in relation to the counseling goal. According to Counted (2015), believers form internal God images and develop God concepts that could be positive or negative. Positive intel lectual concepts (God is the creator), emotional images (Jesus loves me), and social expectations (God is the pillar of my strength wherever I go) may positively impact the interaction with a Christian counselor. However, this aspect needs to be explicated when a rupture in the counseling relationship occurs, leading to a deadlock. In the same vein, negative concepts or images of God (e.g., “God is totally distant,” “God does not care,” “God is cruel”) could negative ly impact the counseling relation ship, which could constitute one of the factors that lead to an impasse. This aspect also has to be explored and explicated. The goals of counseling should be revisited, and each party should define what progress and success mean (Werbart et al., 2022). Unre alistic goals should be explored and replaced by more realistic goals. For example, the expectation that prayer and fasting would result in finding a high-paying job within a very short period of time would be unrealistic. When it does not happen, feelings of disappointment should be expressed in relation to the impasse. The relevance of negative God im ages and concepts to the perceived distance in the counseling relation ship should be examined. When neg ative God images and concepts are paired with unrealistic goals, it could lead to unfulfilled needs and expec tations of closeness and connection. Second, unwelcome wishes and feelings in both parties should be ex plored. These feelings could include anger, guilt, shame, vulnerability, disappointment, frustration, tired ness, and being overwhelmed by the situation.

In Christian counseling, feelings of guilt, shame, or vulnerability could contribute to these symptoms and lead to an impasse. In order to resolve the deadlock, the causes of the impasse should be explored in terms of the interpersonal context and relationship with God. Instead of seeing it solely as a sign of resistance to change, counselors should also explore their own reactions and biases. They must set aside time to reflect on their thoughts, feelings, and behavior toward the client and become aware of their biases and potential judgmental attitudes toward certain clients. From a traditional psychoanalytical perspective of transference and countertransference in counseling, it is essential that counselors adopt a reflective stance on their reactions and contributions to the impasse. If an impasse is not addressed, clients will prematurely leave counseling. Strategies to Overcome Impasse Identifying and acknowledging an impasse or stalemate situation is the first step in overcoming the deadlock. The impasse has to be explored in terms of the goals of counseling, the interpersonal relationship between client and counselor, the relationship of both parties and God, and relevant Christian beliefs. A thorough and honest exploration is necessary for finding a solution to the impasse and progressing toward the goals of Christian counseling. Exploration of Impasse First, open-ended questions could be asked to determine the factors con tributing to the impasse. These factors should be shared by both parties and reflected upon. Each party has to describe their perspective of how the factors contributed to the impasse. The counseling relationship should be explored,

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CLINICAL PRACTICE

a According to Werbart et al. (2022), therapists who experienced being trapped in an impasse or deadlock view clients as impossible to reach. Losing agency in therapy or counseling could be overwhelming for a counselor and lead to self-doubt and an inability to comprehend the cause of the impasse (Werbart et al., 2022). Christian counselors could lose trust in the process and/or lose faith in God and/or blame the client. God images held by the counselor should be explored and reflected on in rela tion to the feelings caused by the impasse. Solutions An impasse should be viewed as a natural occurrence in counseling and something to expect (Werbart et al., 2022). It should be viewed as learning opportunities and growth that can be achieved through self-reflection. Exploring the deadlock could help both parties gain self-insight and find meaning in their experiences. Counsel ors could play a constructive role in this process. A stalemate in Christian counseling presents challenges, and it may happen due to various factors, including a weakened therapeutic alliance, miscommunication, cultural factors, or a negative God image. These occurrences should be viewed as opportunities for reflection and spiritual growth rather than failures. Spiritual growth could be achieved by prayer and Scripture reading. Prayers for wisdom, insight, guidance, and inner healing are powerful and could lead to new awareness for both parties. Counselors could guide clients to biblical narratives that relate to their negative God concepts and images that cause feelings of disappointment and distance in the therapeutic relationships. Biblical narratives provide a spiritual context for clients’ experiences, which can facilitate a deeper understanding and trust in the providence and love of God. Deeper trust in God’s love and protection would create a safe place for the client to connect with the counselor and enter into a closer relationship with God. This would resolve the impasse, enhance the therapeutic effect of the counsel ing, and strengthen faith in God. Conclusion An impasse in Christian counseling should be expected and viewed as a natural occurrence. The factors leading to the impasse may include lack of faith and trust, past relational hurts, lack of rapport with the counselor or feelings of guilt, negative reactions or bias in the counselor, and mismatch between the counselor and client’s expectations and wishes for the outcome of the counseling process. The impasse could be resolved through prayer, exploration of factors contributing to the impasse, and deepened trust in God and the Holy Spirit to maintain agency in the counseling process. The telos in Christian counseling is moral development and progressive sanctification, that is, to become more like Christ and fulfill God’s plan. Resolving an impasse would lead to a deepened sense of purpose and meaning in life. ;

A stalemate in Christian counseling presents challenges, and it may happen due to various factors, including a weakened therapeutic alliance, miscommunication, cultural factors, or a negative God image.

Nicolene L. Joubert, Ph.D., is a Counseling Psychologist and an Adjunct Professor of Psychology and Christian Counseling at Houston Christian University in Texas.

References Counted, V. (2015). Understanding God images and God concepts: Towards a pastoral hermeneutics of the God attachment experience. Verbum et Ecclesia, 36 (1), 1-14. https://doi.org/10.4102/ve.v36i1.1389. Werbart, A., Gråke, E., & Klingborg, F. (2022). Deadlock in psychotherapy: A phenomenological study of eight psychodynamic therapists’ experiences, Counselling Psychology Quarterly, 35 :4, 744-762, DOI: 10.1080/09515070.2020.1863186.

Christian Counseling Connection 15

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INNOVATIVE THOUGHT & PRACTICE

THE BOOK OF PSALMS: A Mirror of Our Soul

Tremper Longman, Ph.D.

18 Christian Counseling Connection i I think it is a fair guess that the book of Psalms is one of the most, if not the most, read and beloved parts of the Old Testament by Christians today. The book contains 150 poems that were sung in worship. The his torical titles (see Psalms 3 and 51 for examples) suggest that those who composed the Psalms wrote from

their life experiences and sense of the presence or absence of God. Even so, the psalmists did not refer to the specifics of their personal experi ence. In Psalm 51, for instance, the psalmist asks God to have mercy on him because of his sins and guilt, but not specifically the sin of adultery as mentioned in the title, which alludes to David’s relationship with Bathsheba as detailed in 2 Samuel 11-12. David wrote the psalm not to memorialize his individual experience but in a way that allows this psalm to become a template for other people to use to turn to God and confess their sins.

INNOVATIVE THOUGHT & PRACTICE

The Psalms are a mirror of our soul. What a beautiful and powerful metaphor that helps us read the Psalms as intended.

The Psalms are not just the prayers of the original composer; they become our prayers as we take on the psalmist’s voice to sing our praise and bring our troubles to God. As David Hubbard once said, there is a psalm for every season of our lives. Hubbard was picking up on an insight well expressed by John Calvin: “I have been wont to call this book not inappropriately, an anatomy of all parts of the soul; for there is not an emotion of which any one can be conscious that is not here represented as in a mirror. Or rather, the Holy Spirit has here drawn to the life all the griefs, sorrows, fears, doubts, hopes, cares, perplexities, in short, all the distracting emotions with which the minds of men are wont to be agitated.” 1 The Psalms are a mirror of our soul. What a beautiful and powerful metaphor that helps us read the Psalms as intended. When we look into a mirror and see our reflection, we observe what we look like on the outside. Maybe we look just fine, but sometimes we may need to brush our hair or wipe the smudge off our cheeks. When we read a psalm, we find out what we are like on the inside. Are we moving toward God or moving away from Him? Do I find words that express my heart in Psalm 18:1 (NLT), “I love you, Lord; you are my strength,” or in Psalm 88:18 (NLT), “You have taken away my companions and loved ones. Darkness is my closest friend.” Walter Brueggemann famously described three of the major psalm types. 2 First, there are hymns, which he called songs of orientation. We sing hymns when life is going well. At these moments, we feel close to God and other people. We are even at peace with ourselves. Psalm 98 is a good example that praises God as our savior (vss. 1-3), our king (vss. 4-6), and our judge (vss. 7-9). Second, we sing a lament when life falls apart. Laments are songs of disorientation we pray when we are sad, angry, dis appointed, or filled with envy. Psalm 77 is a good exam ple of the psalmist who cannot sleep because he is so upset. Third, when God answers our lament, we thank Him. Thanksgiving psalms are songs of reorientation. Thanksgivings sound much like hymns, but they remem ber a previous lament, as in Psalm 30, where God healed the psalmist from a life-threatening illness. Brueggemann leaves it there, and his insights are very helpful to us. However, Glenn Pemberton adds a fourth type when he reminds us what we all know—namely, God does not always answer our laments. 3 How do we handle our long-lasting suffering? As long as our hearts are hurting, we can continue to bring our laments to God. If the book of Psalms teaches us anything, it is that we can and should be brutally honest with God. However, it is crucial to remember that God invites our

laments but not our grumbling. The biblical laments are entirely different from the type of grumbling in the wilderness (e.g., Numbers 14:1-12 ). When we lament, we bring our pain to God; grumblers complain about God to others. Grumblers have given up on God; those who lament still have hope in God. Most laments have a turn to praise or confidence at the end of the prayer. In Psalm 77, the psalmist finds the confidence to live in a troubled present and hope for the future by remembering God’s “wonderful deeds of long ago” (Psalm. 77:11), especially the crossing of the Red Sea at the time of the exodus (77:16-20). Even Psalm 88, which ends with “darkness is my closest friend” (vs. 18b), shows hope as the suffering psalmist refers to God as the “God of my salvation” (v. 1). That said, for sufferers who have moved through lament to a place of trust, psalms of confidence are a wonderful model for our prayers. The beloved Psalm 23 is the best-known example. The psalmist reflects on our divine shepherd, and as he does, he can say, “Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies” (23:4-5a). The danger is still present, but the psalmist rests in God’s care and protection. The book of Psalms is a profound resource for our spiritual and emotional lives and much more. No matter what we are thinking and feeling, there is a psalm that helps us express ourselves to God. As we do, the psalm brings us into God’s presence so we can express our selves better and initiate the transformation that brings us into a greater relationship with Him. ; Tremper Longman, Ph.D., is a Distinguished Scholar and Professor Emeritus of Biblical Studies at

Westmont College. He is the author of How to Read Psalms (2nd edition; InterVarsity Press, 2025), Psalms (TOTC; InterVarsity Press, 2014), and The Cry of the Soul: How Our Emotions Reveal Our Deepest Questions about God (with Dan Allender; NavPress, 2015).

Endnotes 1 Lockyer, H. (1984). “In wonder of the Psalms,” Christianity Today, 28 :72-8. 2 Brueggemann, W. (1984). The message of the Psalms: A theological commentary (Philadelphia: Augsburg), 25-167. 3 Pemberton, G. (2013). After lament: Learning to trust God again (Abilene, TX: Abilene Christian University Press).

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Comprehensive Healing Pathway for the Treatment of Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse

David Hawkins, M.B.A., M.S.W., M.A., Ph.D.

20 Christian Counseling Connection i I remember years ago treating men who were guilty of do mestic violence and were required to participate in a Batter er’s Intervention Program. This was very challenging work. What was shocking to me then, and to an extent now, is how we separated the men from the women, the batterers from the victims. While I understand the need for safety and the importance of temporary separation, there was little integrated or comprehensive planning if the couple

wanted to reconcile, and most did. The men were often immediately separated from their partners, typically through a restraining order. The men were then required to participate in treatment and were, as you might imagine, often reluctant participants. There was no involvement of their spouses, who were usually their victims, in their treatment. There was no comprehen sive healing path forward.

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While there was understandably limited contact with their victims at the start, reconciliation was often their end goal. However, was this goal in the minds of the treating clinicians? Not only were the men and women isolated from one another legally, but his treatment and hers were often kept very separate, even though their goal was rec onciliation. I understand the importance of the initial separation. We must bear in mind that the victim’s safety is of ut most significance in overt domestic violence and covert emotional violence as well. However, I remember feeling confused and even surprised that batterers’ treatment pro viders had little contact with victims’ treatment providers. Additionally, victims’ treatment providers often encour aged the women to have no contact with the men and not to reconcile. Victims had little (approved) contact with perpetrators, and victims’ counselors had little contact with perpetrators’ counselors. Sadly, little seems to have changed, not only in the field of domestic violence but also within the field of narcissistic and emotional abuse. I wonder if clinicians being connected and working togeth er might produce better outcomes? Public Opinion A glance at popular YouTube and Instagram posts indi cates that anyone associated with a narcissistic individual should leave them. Women involved in recovery work are often encouraged to stay away from their narcissistic and emotionally abusive partners. “Narcissists will never change,” many say. “Narcissists will only continue to abuse and harm you.” “Narcissists feel no guilt.” With this prevailing sentiment, it is no surprise that vic tims of abuse are encouraged to seek their own treatment and have little to do with their abusive mates. This said, there are some places in our society where the exact opposite opinions are issued. Some churches

suggest victims of narcissistic and emotional abuse should submit and stay committed, often citing the following Scripture: “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives…” (1 Peter 3:1, NIV). Her actions are consid ered prevalent in her husband’s changing and overcoming abuse. Two Extreme Positions Both positions are extreme. Both create enormous ob stacles for the couple to overcome if they choose to stay together, and many do. Let’s look more closely at these two extreme positions. 1. Women Should Leave. There are many problems with this position. First, to say that abusive men are inca pable of changing is narrow and judgmental. In my exten sive experience, narcissism is best understood as being on a spectrum, and those at the lower end of the spectrum are often capable of change under the right conditions (which I have discussed in previous columns). Why would we consider those addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex, and numerous other issues capable of change but emotionally immature, selfish, and narcissistic men incapable of change? Why do we offer treatment for those struggling with addictions but offer little for those with serious character issues? I understand the argument that those with severe personality disorders are reluctant to seek and fully participate in treatment. However, with significant intervention, even reluctant participants can sometimes gain some measure of motivation for change. Additionally, we seem to have lost sight of the fact that most couples still care for one another, have woven a complex life together, and are interested in staying with their mates. While we may, in certain instances, believe it is not in their best interest to do so, many are going to stay together. What, then, should our position be?

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Conclusion I am quite mindful that what I am proposing contradicts what we have always done—her work done independent ly, his work done independently, and their work left up to them to do independently. Is it time for us to face the fact that many couples want to find a way to make their relationships work? Many cou ples still love one another, have built a life together, and want hope. I think it is time we listen more closely to what these couples are saying to us and respond accordingly. It is time for a comprehensive healing pathway. ;

e 2. Women Should Stay. Some are at the other end of the continuum and strongly encourage women to stay with their mates. The abuse is often minimized and seen as a “communication problem.” In these situations, the marriage’s stability seems to be prioritized over the health and safety of the individual. Power dynamics are often ignored, where the abuser exerts more control and inflicts more emotional damage than the other. Seeing abuse as mutual often strongly discourages the victim from seeking support and help, feeling they are equally to blame. It is critical that churches recognize that while dis agreements are normal in relationships, consistent patterns of belittling, manipulation, threats, or gaslighting constitute emotional abuse and require a vastly different approach. Further Help Needed Thankfully, more balanced approaches are emerging. We see that more trauma recovery groups for victims of narcissistic and emotional abuse are developing. Church es and private clinicians are beginning to recognize these issues and offer trauma-informed treatment. We are doing a much better job of helping women understand their trauma, recover from it, and make wise decisions going forward. Ever so slowly, there is also a growing number of treat ment options for perpetrators of narcissistic and emotion al abuse. Sadly, however, there is still a communication gap between victims’ and perpetrators’ treatment. Clini cians working with victims often do not speak to those working with perpetrators. Additionally, there is truly little comprehensive treat ment available, where help is offered as a pathway for couples who want to stay together—and many do. Where is the help and hope for couples ready to honestly and squarely face narcissistic and emotional abuse? Unfortu nately, couples are left floundering to find ways to recon nect and stay connected after the abuse has been recog nized. In addition to clinicians needing to talk to each other, we need to develop a pathway for couples who want to stay together to do their work (his and hers) and, ultimate ly, our work . I believe we all have an idea of what his and her work consists of; however, there is little discussion about what their work together might involve once the abuse has been effectively dealt with, safety re-estab lished, and her healing is well underway. What might this look like? A comprehensive model could include a thorough assessment of the dynamics in him, her, and both. Sup pose they fully choose to form a new relationship built on safety, mutual trust, and respect. In that case, treatment might consist of her work in recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse, his work in recovering from perpe trating abuse, and ultimately, and oh so carefully, their work to do together.

David Hawkins, M.B.A., M.S.W., M.A., Ph.D., is a Christian clinical psychologist and Director of the Marriage Recovery Center (marriagerecoverycenter.com) in Mill Creek, Washington. He has helped bring healing to thousands of marriages and individuals and is passionate about working with couples in crisis. David is also a speaker and trainer for the AACC and a best-selling author of more than 30 books, including Never Fight Again… Guaranteed! and When Loving Him is Hurting You.

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