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HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Why It’s Worth It Is it worth the work when you are tired, facing health issues, or grieving lost years? Research and couples say “yes.” A more secure, honest, tender connection can lower stress and im prove health, 11 provide a safe base for facing illness and loss, and offer a place to repair old hurts and model a different legacy. You may not rewrite every chapter in your marriage, but you can write a different ending—one marked by humili ty and warmth. Loving well in a disappointing marriage is not about pre tending everything is fine. It is about facing truth, becoming your best, and courageously reaching again for the person you promised to walk with “for better or for worse.” At any age and stage, learning to love well remains one of life’s most important journeys. ;

Sharon May, Ph.D., is a marriage and family therapist and creator of the well known Safe Haven Marriage Intensives. She works from the Emotionally Focused Therapy model with couples wanting to rebuild disappointing and disconnected marriages. The Become Your Best wom en’s virtual monthly retreats and Grow Together Couples virtual group are based on the Safe Haven Model, helping people become their best and live aligned with what matters most. For more information, visit www.safehavenrelationshipcenter. com, www.becomeyourbest.com, or www. havenofsafety.com.

Endnotes 1 Waldinger, R.J., & Schulz, M.S. (2023). The good life: Lessons from the world’s longest scientific study of happiness. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster. 2 Johnson, S.M. (2019). Attachment theory and emotionally focused ther apy (EFT) for individuals and couples. In J. Cassidy & P.R. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment: Theory, research, and clinical applications (3rd ed., pp. 794-819). New York, NY: Guilford Press. 3 Johnson, S.M. (2019). 4 Doidge, N. (2015). The brain’s way of healing: Remarkable discoveries and recoveries from the frontiers of neuroplasticity . New York, NY: Penguin. 5 Gottman, J.M., & Gottman, J.S. (2015). 10 principles for doing effective cou 8 Cross, M., & Brown, B. (2021). Emotional maturity, vulnerability, and secure relating in adult close relationships. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 20 (3), 201-220. 9 Johnson, S.M. (2019). 10 Wiebe, S.A., & Johnson, S.M. (2016). A review of the research in emotional ly focused therapy for couples. Family Process, 55 (3), 390-407. 11 Waldinger, R.J., & Schulz, M.S. (2023). ples therapy. New York, NY: W.W. Norton. 6 Gottman, J.M., & Gottman, J.S. (2015). 7 Johnson, S.M. (2019).

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