CCC 27-1_LR

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

The authors expanded on their answer, saying, “In fact, good relationships are significant enough that if we had to take all eighty four years of the Harvard Study and boil it down to a single principle for living, one life investment that is supported by similar findings across a wide variety of other studies, it would be this: Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period.” 3 Every time I am reminded of this fact, I am deeply moved. I know God created us for relationships— with Him and each other. In relationships, we are born and live life; no matter what age, we thrive when we have good people around us. Our relation ships make all the difference in our lives. Relation ships bring us joy when they are perceived as a “safe haven” and become our “home base” from which we venture out into the world with security and cour age. Our close relationships are harbors in the midst of life’s storms and buffers to stressful situations. James Coan, a professor of psychology at the Uni versity of Virginia, conducted experiments showing that holding the hand of someone you feel close to has a calming effect and lessens the pain felt when receiving an electric shock during an experiment. We have all experienced the soothing and cen tering touch from someone we care about, whether before a scary presentation, during a painful life sea son, or after one of those “everything went wrong” days. Yet, even our good relationships can be diffi cult and fill up with conflict and become the source of our stress, giving us headaches and heartaches. Living with a difficult marriage, constant family arguments, or worrying about a child can raise your heart rate and blood pressure, surging stress hor mones through your bloodstream and leaving be hind toxic byproducts that can lead to poor mental, emotional, and physical health. We all know this! Our marriages, families, and friendships mean everything to us, and we are daily impacted by whether or not we are getting along in these val ued relationships. You know the stressful pressure on your heart when you leave for work, knowing a conflict with your spouse is unresolved. It can rob you of a good day. And because we were created for relationships and do our best when they are going well, we all long to know how to talk through an issue, make sense of a disagreement, come to some common ground, heal the hurt, offer forgiveness, dissolve the negative feelings, and restore the close ness and connection. Whether in our marriages, with our children, extended family, friendships, or even with our workplace co-workers, we all want to get along and feel like we are accepted and belong. We all want to experience some “peace” in our connections and tap into the powerful benefits of healthy relationships.

Christian Counseling Connection 27