CCC 27-4_LR 1

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

BECOMING YOUR BEST SELF

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Sharon May, Ph.D.

As a relationship counselor, everyone who comes into my counseling office has a goal of loving well in their most important relationships. Naturally, we were created to love and be loved, so it is not surprising that we do better in life when we have meaningful relationships. When individuals or couples come to counseling regarding their distressed relationships, they are eager to figure out who is to blame for their problems and what communication skills they can learn to get their relationships back on track. Loving well certainly involves listening, talking, and sharing one’s feelings and needs clearly and kindly. It also

consists of believing the best in others, knowing when to speak up for oneself and when to let things go, extend ing forgiveness, and not harboring a grudge. Loving well includes being patient, kind, and giving of oneself without expecting anything in return. Loving well is difficult and takes much more inner character than skill. For some per sonality types, getting along, being a peacemaker, and not making waves comes more easily than for others. And for other personality types, standing up for what is right, being forthright, and dealing with issues to find a resolution is more comfortable than for others.

26 Christian Counseling Connection