CCC 27-4_LR 1

PASS IT ON

That is God’s promise to us… and is a massive part of our calling as counselors and coaches to come alongside those struggling mightily to get through a challenge and help mend their nets, confirm, strengthen, and establish them.

Has God Given You a “Swim Buddy?” I want to challenge you to remember some of the most challenging times in your life. Did God put a “swim buddy” in your life who helped pull you through those times? I have thought a lot about this because I recently went to the longest and most inspiring funeral I have ever attended. It was for my “swim buddy” in graduate school, ministry, and life, Mike Burnidge. Here is what I remember about God placing Mike in my life. That extremely challenging time for me was not filled with cold water, immense physical challenges, or the evils of sand and no sleep. However, if there was any correlation, it was an extended time when I faced extremely tough instruc tors. These people were in charge of whether I passed or failed. They were in almost every class for the entire four years it took me to get my doctorate—the same people who were set entirely against the two of us who were open about our faith in Christ. They seemed to do everything they could to get me and my “swim buddy” to quit, but God gave me a “swim buddy” for that particular time. According to another former SEAL, Alden Mills, “swim buddies” help you in three ways. 2 They help you close the learning gap, spark creativity and innovation, and build trust to reach new heights. Mike helped me in each of those ways. He had strengths that I did not, strengths that I could look at and learn from. Creativity often came when we would drive to class together and develop new ways to get through challenging assignments or deal with unfair questioning. And I absolutely had someone pushing me not to quit, encouraging me to keep going, and stay strong in my faith and God-given abilities to learn, remain resil ient, and finish the task. This brings me to some impactful words from Solomon in Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 (NASB) that sound like a “swim buddy”: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor; for if either of them fails, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up! Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?” Remembering and Becoming Someone’s “Swim Buddy” Today Looking back, I am grateful that there were other times in my life when I could see that God gave me a “swim buddy” for a specific challenge. I have made a point of sit ting down and thanking Mike, Craig, Teddy, Jim, Pam, Gil, and Teri for the ways God used them to help me through various difficult times. And if you are married, I am sure

you are incredibly grateful for your spouse, as I am for my wife, Cindy, who has never given up on me. She has made me better in so many ways. Remember to tell your spouse how much you need them and thank God for putting such an incredible “swim buddy” in your life. I believe it is essential to say something to people whom God placed in our lives during challenging times. Although I had said it before, for me, it came during lunch with my faithful friend, Mike, less than two weeks before he entered home hospice. It was our last moment to talk, share, and remember. It was a chance to cry, be grateful for the struggles we experienced, and see God’s faithful ness then and now. Losing a “swim buddy” has also challenged me to look for ways to come alongside others who God has placed in my life today. I recently learned that the words “mending their nets,” as in when Jesus came upon James and John on the beach doing just that, are the same words found in 1 Peter 5:10 (NASB): “After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect (mend the nets), con firm, strengthen, and establish you.” That is God’s promise to us… and is a massive part of our calling as counselors and coaches to come alongside those struggling mightily to get through a challenge and help mend their nets, confirm, strengthen, and establish them. It may not involve carrying a log or going with them on a timed, two-mile swim like in SEAL training, but there are many ways we can be a “swim buddy” to someone who desperately needs help—someone who will look back one day and be grateful that God put us in their life for such a time as this. ;

John Trent, Ph.D., is the President of StrongFamilies.com and leads Cam elback Life Coaching with his eldest daughter, Kari Trent Stageberg. They co-authored the Focus on the Family book, Where Do I Go From Here? Join them as a LifeMapping® Coach to help people capture the pictures of their life story and start moving toward God’s best at www.StrongFamilies.com.

Endnotes 1 Boss, J. (2016). A leadership lesson learned from a two-mile swim, Forbes Magazine. 2 Mills, A. (2022). Blog: Learning, innovating, and reaching new heights with the swim buddy system.

Christian Counseling Connection 37