CCC 28-2_LR

PASS IT ON

e I remember another friend, Dr. Tony Wheeler, saying to a group of couples, “It’s easy to go a decade without really looking at your spouse eye to eye.” At the time, I remember thinking that was perhaps hyperbole; howev er, the more I have thought about it, even in my own marriage, I do not believe it is so far fetched. In everyday reality, it is incredibly easy to constantly be around someone—a spouse or a child—and go months, even years, without really, purposefully LOOKING AT THEM eye to eye. Ever since that conference, guess what my wife Cindy and I do about once a quarter? I use my phone to set a reminder, then put it down, and we sit or stand close to each other. Then, without saying a word, we look at each other eye to eye for three minutes. Our goal is to say “I love you” without a single word. We truly bene fit from each experience. Perhaps this idea of looking “eye to eye” should not come as a surprise. We see it literal ly, dozens of times in Scripture. How the “eyes of the Lord” are on us—not in a judging way, but in a loving manner. A passage familiar to many, 2 Chronicles 16:9 (NASB), “For the eyes of the Lord roam throughout the earth, so that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His….” I do not pretend to understand all that hap pens when we simply put down our phones and purposefully take just three minutes to look each other in the eye. However, I am grateful to my friend for showing me, and all those other high-stress couples, a powerful way to bless each other face-to-face and eye-to-eye. ; John Trent, Ph.D., is the

Founder of StrongFamilies.com and works alongside his eldest daughter, Kari Stageberg, to help men and women give and live The Blessing. Their new book is titled Your Journey from Broken to Blessed (Focus on the Family/Tyndale Publishers).

Endnotes 1 Wall, M. (2012, October 12). Why modern maps put every one at the centre of the world. BBC News . https://www.bbc. com/news/magazine-19908848. 2 Find out more about Dr. Mark Mayfield and his work in helping “reset” relationships at drmayfield.com.

40 Christian Counseling Connection